Weekend Shenanigans and Celebration of Tiny Miracles

I have been thinking about a new post for couple days now, there has been so much happening.  I was trying to get my thoughts together and organize everything in some coherent way.  It has been busy couple weeks with lot of good opportunities and prospects as well as lot of first time experiences.

Let me start with this past weekend.  I have been involved with a local 501(c)(3) that works for and with families of premature babies, The Tiny Miracles Foundation.  It has been a wonderful experience to volunteer my time and make a difference even though my involvement has been predominantly from the finance and budget side of the business.  They’re affiliated with hospitals and Neonatal ICUs here in Fairfield County, providing services, support, and care for the little babies. The organization is mostly run by volunteers who went through similar experiences.  I met some of the board members last year during the March for Babies walk and their kindness, open hearts and understanding were so helpful to Matthew and me.  I kept in touch and when the opportunity presented itself to help out with their annual fundraising event, I did not hesitate.  It was my first time ever Gala event and it was an amazing experience. The co-chairs of the event did an amazing job with the entire organization. Location was great, silent and live auction items were spectacular and even though we could not really bid on anything Matthew and I were so thankful that we were able to attend. The event was a success and I cannot wait to see the final numbers from the live and silent auction.

The March for Babies was also this past Sunday so we came out to support the event and help out TTMF to raise awareness in the local community. It is so refreshing to speak to moms and see their happy bouncy kids who might have experienced some very difficult moments in their lives. It certainly brought some tears and sad memories but I was grateful to be surrounded by loving people who shared their stories. Our little boy is in a better place and as time heals, we will never forget him.   He is watching over us every day and we think of him often.

Rest of the weekend was spent catching up with friends and gardening. It is so funny how much I enjoy gardening. When we bought the house five years ago, I was dreading the thought of spending my weekends weeding. I guess those are the memories of my childhood when we spent weekends at my grandparents taking care of a huge vegetable garden, apple orchard and vineyard. Our garden is really super small and it consists of mostly flowers. It really does not take much to take care of it. It is mostly one or two weekends to get it set up and cleaned in spring and then maintenance for the rest of the summer and fall. We are trying a small veggie garden this year with some lettuce, broccoli, cucumbers and spring beans. We were not so successful last year with the cabbage and cauliflower experiment but I think the plants just did not have enough sun. We always have couple tomato plants so now we have some additional ones and we also added strawberries. We will see. It certainly was little extra work this weekend but Matthew and I are super excited!

#Reverb14 March Prompt: Luck

Is luck what you get?  Or is luck what you make?  When have you been lucky?  When did you create your own fortune?

My immediate reaction was that I never have any luck with raffles, winnings or just lucky coincidences. Then I got a call last Wednesday that I won a raffle (Rainbow air purifier) at the Home Expo that we went to the past weekend. I was so thrilled. My first reaction was that I never win anything. Needless to say, the person who was supposed to deliver the prize cancelled last minute and I have not heard from him since then. So who knows if I really won something but really it is not that important.

I am a believer in hard work. If you work hard, you will be rewarded or you will achieve what you are working for. I still believe in this but there are days when I think that little luck won’t hurt anybody – being at the right place at the right time is sometimes helps :).

Honestly, if I look back, I am pretty lucky girl. I have a wonderful husband / kick-ass partner; my family is amazing and they drive me crazy at the same time which is the right kind of family. I am surrounded by amazing friends. I made a life for myself in America all on my own and now I am a U.S citizen. I am pretty sure that there are a lot of people in Slovakia that are envious because they think it came to me so easily and they did not get the same opportunity. Well we have to seek out these opportunities, there are no free lunches. When I made my choice to leave the University of Maryland throughout the second half of my sophomore year due to injuries, I left behind a full ride scholarship (I was on the volleyball team). I did not know how the NCAA rules worked at that time. I had no true support here that would help me understand and figure out the messy situation.  I did not know I had options. I was so homesick, unhappy and injured. I came back to Slovakia and I had to face my dad who I disappointed.  He did not want to talk to me for couple of months because I failed him. It was a tough decision but it was also a learning experience that helped me to mature as a person. I was able to experience and value opportunities differently. I actually realized that after being back at home and completing one full year at the local university that I wanted to go back to the US and finish my studies there. So I had to seek out opportunities again and find a way to pay for it. It was much harder to actually go back the second time around.  I was able to get scholarship again, this time it was at the University of Charleston and even though it was not a full ride I made it work. It was all my doing, my time, my money and my knowledge. I might have had an advantage of knowing how the system works but it certainly did not make the process easier. Step by step I was creating my ‘fortune’ even without knowing it. Well the best part about ‘taking my break’ from UMD was that I met my husband in Slovakia during the last couple months that I was there before I returned back to the US. I call that LUCK 🙂 or is it destiny?

So don’t be afraid to take risks and sometimes little lucky strike might just help you to succeed but mostly it is the time and effort you put into your work otherwise keep looking  for your lucky charm in the field of lucky clovers.

#Reverb14 February Prompt: Heart | Show us your heart.

Let it all hang out.  When have you thrown yourself into a challenge or shown/received love?

I am definitely behind with posting but I wanted to finally catch up. I was not in the right state of mind when this prompt was sent out in February. I was actually contemplating to just pass on it as I was in a pretty vulnerable place. I was just in the middle of the studying to retake the CAIA level 1 exam so that pretty much took over all my evenings and weekends. It was a painful process; I am not going to lie but I made it through. I was taking an online review course on Thursday nights which ended up being always about four hours of commitment which get me grounded to this goal. I think that it was worth it. I do not know my result but I felt better prepared than the first time around and I was not as overwhelmed after the exam. We will see. This experience definitely reinforced the dedication and willingness to carve some professional development time that I have not done in many years.

This was a challenge that I have thrown myself into last year. I received amazing support from everyone and I am so thankful for cheering me through the battle. I definitely hit couple hard patches where I struggled and doubted myself. I resented the decision couple times as in my current job situation it will not make any difference but I got over that because I have more coming to me in the future and I will have more to offer. It is difficult to open up to others and ask for help. It was not easy to say, I am struggling with the studying, I am struggling with life and I am not being a strong supportive wife to Matthew. I spent evenings crying and I was frustrated and mad. I was failing in my mind and I was losing hope. The studying at least kept my mind occupied for couple hours when I knew I had to really focus. I also stuck to my workout regime that helped to clear the negative thoughts.

I always find it amazing how the people close to me could just sense it and send me a text message at the right time. It would totally pick me up or pull me out of the swirl of negativity and bring me back to reality. Matthew lost his job about nine months back. I was mentally prepared that it will take about six months to get him back to workforce but once January rolled around I totally went under. I could not get pass the fact that we are still in the same situation no matter how hard this man has been working and how many good connections and conversations he has had. He has been the runner up four times now. It is crashing but there is another day and he keeps going at it because there is no other option. It is so frustrating even though I have absolutely no control over this and maybe that is why I have no idea how to deal with it. He has been more of a support to me these days that I have been to him.

I am in a better spot as we are about to start the month of April tomorrow but not every day is a sunshine in our household :). It is good sometimes to show your heart and feelings because your mind can get clogged up and you lose a sense of yourself. It is not easy and life is not fair. Who knows why the past year and half has been a struggle but I believe we will come out of this as stronger people even though we had to put many life decisions on hold.

#reverb14 | Routine

Prompt for January:

Have you started a new routine this January?  Is this routine different from last year?  Is it the result of a resolution or goal you’re working on?  Tell us about your days.  How do they flow?  If you’d like, maybe give us a full “day in the life” or just some snippets.

Excellent idea to do monthly prompts.  It actually gives me a time to reflect on certain events or just fun memories. I especially like this prompt as I was thinking to start a new routine – not that I need January to start fresh but wanted the 2014 to be happier and different. I have been looking for a new exercise or workout routine. I have not been good at actually making it happen with my DVDs. I really do not like treadmill running so I felt that my options were limited. I love yoga and I have also done the reformer Pilates but the cost has been little prohibitive in the current one income household situation. I have also strained my shoulder while back and I have been going to physical therapy.  So after many years of volleyball and no shoulder injury, here I am with shoulder tendonitis (rotator cuff).  It has been bothering me for a while but once I got to the point that was having difficulties to lift my arm than I knew I needed to see someone.

Anyways, I have been taking an advantage of my Pilates package but I am also trying one month of introductory unlimited classes at Pure Barre which has been actually really good for my shoulder. The studio opened in late fall and it became a hit. I have heard about the workouts but there was nothing really around us without driving 45 min to Greenwich. The studio is in Westport about 10 min drive. They have a really good schedule which is awesome in the county where lot of studios cater to women who stay at home. So I decided to sign up and work out in the early mornings. I absolutely love it. I am totally challenged and hooked. I think my legs has not shaken this much before while exercising.  I just finished my third week of 6.00 am classes. This is so incredible early. I figured that if I can commit to this month of super early mornings then I am willing to figure out a long term solution and build on this routine. I have been 100% so far.  I am already seeing small differences in my body.  Most importantly my mood has changed.  I have been really stressed and frustrated with our current situation and I am finding that I am dealing with it all with much better attitude.  Well exercise is currently my therapy so I am thankful for that.

Of course my other routine is now studying / reviewing for the retake of my exam.  It is in about 2 months so I am trying to put in 2 hrs a day after work.  I am also trying a new approach with online class on Thursday night which goes for four hours.  I am hopeful because it is mostly just a review and reinforcement of what I learned already.   We will see.

I am ready for this year to be successful, filled with laughter and joy and fabulous so to start it with a daily routine is actually a good thing that will keep me on track.

Happy New Year

All the best in 2014!!!! Happy New Year

#Reverb13 | Day 23 Ready, set, go!

The race set out for you | Tell us about how you’ve been running along in 2013 and the race(s) you intend to run in 2014.  These can be literal races or just the road of life.  What did your path look like this year, and are you choosing the same for 2014?

Well I have an entry for the 2014 NYC Marathon so that will be my big race if I can get it done.  It is little bit up in the air as I am not sure what the first half of this year entails 🙂 So I am planning to do some short distance running races and some bike rides / races.

Of course there is a daily chase to keep up with my life 🙂 which is actually an enjoyment in every way positive and negative.  I am trying to not plan out exactly 2014.  I am leaving it to shake out for better terms but I am excited about the opportunities and possibilities that lay ahead. I would like the year to go by slower this time.  Although 2013 cannot end fast enough, I love to enjoy happy moments slowly so I can breath them in.  So let it not be a race rather than pleasant journey filled with some races, and hustle and bustle but mostly enjoyment and fun in all the possible ways.

#Reverb13 | Day 22 Is this battle worth the struggle?

Uphill | What uphill battle did you keep fighting and fighting in 2013?  Are you going to keep fighting or let it go?  Why?

There have been one task on my list that I have been fighting to get done this year and unfortunately I have been unsuccessful.  It certainly came with a lot of disappointments but I am also staying hopeful that 2014 will be better to me and us and both of us can start a new career opportunity soon.  For right now, I am grateful that I have a good job that allows me to provide for our family especially since Matthew has been out of work for couple months now.  So I am not letting go, it just takes time and many uphills still to climb but it will be all worth it at the end.

#Reverb13 | Day 28 Boo hoo.

Cry it out | What moment in 2013 brought tears to your eyes?  Are you usually a crier?  Or did tearing up take you by surprise?

There have been many moments and days that I spent crying.  I felt that crying was my outlet to get rid off fear, stress, frustration, and grief.   I have not used to be a crier but lately, I have been more emotional.  I actually let myself cry as it clears my mind.  I cry watching a movie, commercial or news – I certainly cannot blame it on hormones but something in me makes me feel more empathetic that always comes with tears.I no longer hold back the tears so maybe I became a crier but it helps me and I am not ashamed of it.

#Reverb13 | Day 25 Craving, lusting, wanting.

Covet | What did you covet this year?  Are you working towards getting that or just admiring it from afar?  Is it a tangible thing or just an idea?  Tell us about what you’ve got your sights on.

I have been lusting or craving a nice getaway somewhere we have never been that is far away.  I would love to go  somewhere in Caribbean one day.  We have been thinking Costa Rica.  Warm weather, sandy beaches, some hikes but lot of resting and relaxing. There is so much to do there and it should be pretty affordable.  I have no preference 🙂 In addition, I had South America on my list for a while now.  I would love to go to Peru and hike Machu Pichhu trail. Matthew would love to go to Australia.  We actually agreed that for his big birthday present we will save $$ for a trip to Australia.  We have a full year to do it so hopefully he will get a job soon so we can start saving.  TRAVEL is what I have been craving for a while.

Travel Dream

Other than day, I think I might have some small things on my mind that I would love to get for the house.  The major items are all set in general.  We planned lot of DIY projects and I cannot wait to start and finish them.

#Reverb13 | Day 26 I’ll never forget.

Five Moments | Tell us about five moments you don’t want to forget from 2013.

1. Holding my son in my arms for an hour
2. Disney vacation
3. My parents visiting in February
4. Strawberry jam making, cooking with Matthew – brings us joy and laughs
5. New fence and house painted – it just makes us love our house even more
6. Getaway in Montauk with my girlfriends
7. Annual Summer fun at Adirondacks at Maren’s house